I’m on a rest day today and it’s absolutely needed.
I ran to work on Tuesday morning, then did some pretty hard climbs in the evening. Then I committed myself to doing a strength workout after work that was focused on runners.
And, I think I developed a mild case of tricep tendonitis, so I’ve got some KT tape lighting up my arm.
Anyway, my mind seems to be doing some weird things to my self esteem lately so I thought I’d share.
This is what I look like these days:
Despite the less-than-flattering pictures, I’m not fat by any definition. I’d even say that I’m fairly fit and trim, and I’m getting pretty close to the Wonder Woman/Amazoness build at a measly 5’4″.
In fact, I’m like 85% sure that the reason I haven’t been hit on by random men recently is because my muscular arms are on display in the summer. Whatever, the Monsieur seems to find them sexy!
I’ve also gained roughly 10lbs in the last 12 months.
I know that it’s mostly muscle and not fat. I’m still (more or less) fitting into my clothes without issue, so I clearly haven’t expanded too much. My legs, butt and shoulders have changed shape so some of my jeans are too tight because of that, but I’m okay with having toned, firm limbs. And a sexy butt.
And yet, a part of my mind thinks that I’m big, and not in a good way.
I know that I’m not big. I don’t think anybody could reasonably argue that a size 2 or 4 is big. I’m much more muscular and defined than last year, and I physically and mentally feel much better, so there shouldn’t be anything I feel bad about.
But I still can’t get over the fact that I gained 10lbs.
What’s worse is that I’m pretty sure it’s all in my head.