Rest Day Musings – Body Image

I’m on a rest day today and it’s absolutely needed.

I ran to work on Tuesday morning, then did some pretty hard climbs in the evening. Then I committed myself to doing a strength workout after work that was focused on runners.

And, I think I developed a mild case of tricep tendonitis, so I’ve got some KT tape lighting up my arm.

Anyway, my mind seems to be doing some weird things to my self esteem lately so I thought I’d share.

This is what I look like these days:

Despite the less-than-flattering pictures, I’m not fat by any definition. I’d even say that I’m fairly fit and trim, and I’m getting pretty close to the Wonder Woman/Amazoness build at a measly 5’4″.

In fact, I’m like 85% sure that the reason I haven’t been hit on by random men recently is because my muscular arms are on display in the summer. Whatever, the Monsieur seems to find them sexy!

I’ve also gained roughly 10lbs in the last 12 months.

I know that it’s mostly muscle and not fat. I’m still (more or less) fitting into my clothes without issue, so I clearly haven’t expanded too much. My legs, butt and shoulders have changed shape so some of my jeans are too tight because of that, but I’m okay with having toned, firm limbs. And a sexy butt.

And yet, a part of my mind thinks that I’m big, and not in a good way.

I know that I’m not big. I don’t think anybody could reasonably argue that a size 2 or 4 is big. I’m much more muscular and defined than last year, and I physically and mentally feel much better, so there shouldn’t be anything I feel bad about.

But I still can’t get over the fact that I gained 10lbs.

What’s worse is that I’m pretty sure it’s all in my head.

xoxo,

B.elle

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I Don’t Have a Champagne Butt and I’m PROUD of It

This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but I’m going to tell you my exact size and weight.

Height: 5’3″ / 163cm
Weight: 118lbs / 53.5kg
Approximate measurements (in): 34-29-32

If you’re not sure what all that data means, it just about means that I’m about a size 2 and somewhat curvy (Yay, moderately-sized boobs and genetics!) but nobody would ever say that I’m voluptuous or that I’m “sexy like Kim Kardashian.”

Thank God for that!

I’m getting a pretty nice atheletic build with decent muscle definition and lean muscle mass from parkour and running every week, so I’ve probably reduced my body fat down to like 20% or something in that range.

But, I’ve realized that my body’s genetics built me this way. It’s easy for me to slim down because I have a pretty high metabolism, and I tend to eat whole foods rather than packaged or frozen meals.

I definitely care about how I look because it’s the first thing that I communicate to the world. But, it’s way more important how I feel about my body and how I feel being inside my body!

Yes, I’m short. Yeah, I’m pretty skinny, sure. Yeah, I’m also getting pretty muscular and I have broad shoulders for a woman. Not to mention that my knees turn inwards a little bit, so that’s kind of awkward… And what’s up with my limp hair?!

Ah, well. That’s my body and my body’s part of who I am!

I don’t want to look like a supermodel. I don’t want boobs like Christina Hendricks or legs like Beyonce or a butt like Jennifer Lopez.

I just wanna look like me. That’s not too hard to ask, is it?

I’m proud of my body and I treat it well to make the best of its abilities, no matter what everyone else says it should be.

And you know what? So should you. Be proud of your body because it’s yours!

xoxo,

B.elle